Drinking Pee in the Dating Desert….

“Really, did you just say that…?”

It is never easy to decide when you have just had enough of the situation. But Lebanon can a little bit that like that Discovery channel show. The one where people are lost in the desert for days and they have to drink their own pee to stay alive. Obviously it is not an ideal situation, you would happily have a cold Almaza, but in some situations, you take what you can get.

That is why you are never really sure whether you should have another glass of pee or walk over the next sand dune to see of there is a great pub with ice cold beer. So, how do you know what to do when the thirst kicks in and the pee is readily available? When do you walk out and say, “i’m sorry that was the final straw.”

Thinking of this situation reminded me of my last such romp through the desert. Like all journeys they start out all fun, and sometimes you even see an oasis in the horizon. But then the tell take signs of the mirage start to appear. Yet, you hang on with optimism and tell yourself not to be such a picky shit.

Now everything seemed fine. There was even a suggestion of a movie night on the couch, so I thought I had struck the mother load.

Me: “So let me get this straight, you want to come over, order some wings, watch an action film and then go to bed….Can I get this in writing?”

Now the evening is off to a great start. Few things make a man as happy as watching his lady friend part huck down a load of messy wings while watching large explosions and terrible dialogue.

But then it happens.
Her: “Can you pause the movie for a moment, I really need to stretch out…”

Sitting there with buffalo sauce on my face in the dark silence I watch my new friend proceed to do a min-yoga routine in my living room while I sit there and observe for a few minutes quietly.

Routine #1

If you are unaware, this takes a few min to complete and is kinda sexy… here are the names of the poses.. Sun Salute, Downward dog, abandoned baby…

WTF you call this one?
WTF you call this

I dont know what the fuck you call this one… but it ain’t attractive. I just keep thinking about wing sauce in between toes…

Nevertheless, the silence must be broken.
Me: “So you are really in to yoga huh?”

Her: “Well you don’t get a body like this
without doing yoga for 10 years…”

Ding-ding- ding… Winner winner chicken dinner!

In my head I’m thinking, “Really, did she just say that..?”

But there I am in the decisive moment… Do I just drink the pee and quench the thirst? I can’t very well walk out of my own house and try to find the closest pub. So i tell myself, “fill up your glass, cause it is gonna be a long hike”.


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About beirutdatingdisaster

I just moved back to Lebanon to finally live on one place for a few years. No matter how annoying it is at times, it is home. So, far I love being back.... But Dating here is simply a DISASTER.
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